Well, Here I Go

I must admit that I've been actively avoiding typing a new blog post for at least 20 minutes. I had a zillion thoughts, all of them trying their very best to be profound, something super-inspiring that would bring on emotional ponderings and the like, but really I just want to talk about summer and the things that make me the happiest.



There is this park. After a run, I sometimes stop and take a minute to just stare out at the water. I feel totally at peace. Today I imagined dragging a patterned quilt out there and sitting down and having a picnic. Someday I want to have a very special quilt. I already have one that used to belong to my grandmother, but I want to have one of my own that I either knit myself or find at a thrift store and just somehow know that it is The Quilt. And then I can take it on picnics with my husband, and eventually wrap my children in it at night, and someday hand it down to my grand kids.

It's little things like that! I know I'm not the only one to get so wrapped up in all the beauty of life and living. Tiny pieces of daily life and routine just mesmerize me sometimes. The intricacy of life is found in even the mundane moments.

+ Listening to my sister sing along to James Blunt in the garage
+ Anticipating writing late into the night//early a.m. even though I shouldn't
+ Feeling grateful to be able to spend time with my family and have a roof over my head
+ I love music {so much} and I really can't expound upon that any further
+ Alt-J
+ God's teaching me a lot and I'm grateful to have writing as a medium to reflect on and organize my thoughts for safe keeping

Well, normally I post much more inspired/organized thoughts, but not today. This has been.....a glimpse into the mind of myself.

// angles //

I wake in the morning
and my bed feels like
 the ocean
and I am sinking
 in its depths

I toss and turn
the memories
of a glittering day
highlighted by emotion
and see it from
// all angles //

This band
is her favorite
or one of them
but I have adopted a track
as my own
// triangles //

Let's paint the world
with rainbow colors
and name our children
after the months
in the year

yeah.

Waves

With all this beautiful time on my hands, I thought and I thought and I thought and then I thought some more and started to hate myself for it. My mind is like the ocean; it can be calm and placid, or uproarious and out of control. There is so much in life to be worried about. There is so much in life to be thankful for.

When everything gets crazy, I'm glad I have You as my rock.

< words >

Running running r u n n i n g in circles.
Each day is the identical twin of the one before it.
Magazines, calloused fingers, beards.
I couldn't tell you what my favorite band is.
Where are my shoes?
I could eat the planet with this appetite.
Maybe I should just take a nap.

p.s. Reading material for ya here and here.

Tell Me /// Gracie {no.3}

**Y'all are in for a treat today! Gracie is one of my best friends and is funny, sweet and super talented! Get a taste of her awesome Christ-inspired poetry here.**

Tell me about yourself. I am a 21 year old college student, planning on graduating in December and terrified yet excited about the future. I have a bad habit of planning out my life and God has a good habit of taking my dreams from me and showing me that what He has planned is so much better! I am not my own, I have been bought with a price and I desire to glorify God with my life! I am discovering that “when nothing is certain, anything is possible.” I have the best family and friends, and I am crazy about my dog, Mr. Darcy! I have been blessed with the means to express myself through dance and get paid to enable others to do the same! Praise the Lord!

Tell me about the deepest dream/desire you have. My deepest desire is to serve Christ and live a life for Him so that He will look at me at the end of my days and say “Well done good and faithful servant.” Humanly speaking, my deepest dream is to fall in love with someone who will be my best friend. A man of God who will love Christ first, and who will laugh with me, be serious, be ridiculous, and give me support and someone to support the rest of my days. Very cliché and corny I know, but I think that when you give God the pen He can write an amazing love story, and I am willing to wait for that to happen!

Tell me how you got into dance and what it feels like to perform/practice it. I got into dance when I was 5, my mom signed me up and I loved it! I didn’t get very serious about it until I was about 12. It was a very different time in my life, and I remember feeling the pressure that comes with the ballet world. But there is something so therapeutic about dancing for me! Going to class every night was a way that I could focus all of my “feels” from the day into something productive. And there is nothing like performing. Though it may not come across every time, I enjoy performing because I can give myself to it and hopefully bring others into what I am feeling. It’s so hard to explain!

Tell me what your favorite Scripture is. Romans 8 hands down. Of course the Bible is the Bible, it’s all awesome! But that chapter is such a source of strength for me, especially verses 26 through the end. Goosebumps!

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ~ Romans 8:26

Tell me about what you want to do when you are 80. When I am 80, I want to still be ministering to
others for Christ. I want to be still married to my best friend, and I want to have a lot of grand kids! Who knows, I may still want to be dancing then too ;)

Tell me what gives you inspiration. Music! When choreographing I can only produce something good when the music speaks to me, which sounds weird but it’s so true! As for writing poetry, I can only do that when I’m in the mood, and when God gives me words to express myself. Also, I love quotes, they inspire me and make me happy that someone else feels that way too!

Ballet or contemporary dancing? Ballet will always be my first love! But I enjoy contemporary more lolz so yes.

Describe yourself in one word. Doulos. It’s Greek for bond servant, referring to slave for Christ.

My Fate, in Film

My sister's graduation party is tomorrow, so my family and I spent the day knee deep in nostalgic photos to pepper her poster board with. As you might have guessed, I am awash with memories!! It's so weird to look at photographs and see how much has changed, who is no longer around, and how old I have become. Now that I have officially become myself and no longer struggle with the identity issues customary in the early teen years, I feel as if I have always been this way, this person, this version of myself. But the photos prove me wrong.

Probably when my fear of clowns began.  

 Seriously blessed to have grandparents like them.

What's super cool is that even before I knew God, even before I was born, before I had any life or memory or dreams of being an author, He knew me. And though most moments in my life are filled with distraction and busyness, He is always there, in every moment, in every memory. That's a comfort.

Prom

She is growing up.

This is my realization as I snap photos, so many photos, of my sister in her turquoise gown. It is that inevitable moment we must all pass through: coming of age. I see now that we are no longer children, and the real world is staring us in the face. It has already been a year since I graduated; soon it will be her turn. Yesterday I also attended one of my best friend's graduation ceremonies. The combination of seeing my sister off to prom and watching my friend walk across the stage to start the rest of her life was very emotional for one day. Things are constantly changing; this is life. People go, but people come back.

She is growing up.